The Experiment
So, there was a social experiment in ego domination and submission. It was actually just a round of cards with poker chips and friends.
There was a spontaneous game where everyone was dealt 1 card and had to stick it to his or her forehead. Whoever had the highest card would win. The player cannot see the card, although everyone else can. So it's up to the player to bet according to what they believe they have.
It started simply enough, but there was such a risk. This is a blind investment. How long do you keep throwing chips into the pot believing you have the highest card out of everyone?
For myself, I did a few rounds and then got concerned. I don't have the facts and can't keep increasing my investment. At work, my decisions are made on data and clear a picture of the path. I folded, and it turned out I had an Ace. The friends were disappointed I missed an opportunity! Everyone else would've naturally folded at some point, possibly intimidated by my card. The next person to fold had a 10 and everyone felt bad for her giving up too quickly.
It continued until the three people competing had 3, 4, 7. Not very strong cards from the larger group, but strong enough between these three. The betting battle continued, but now it turned into a show of the ego.
Your ego is coming forward and saying you have the highest hand and believe it. If one person had an Ace, I could surely have one myself. But at what cost and how long do you allow it to lead you blindly? The player with the 3 and 4 were confidently upping the ante.
And, since we could see their cards, it was intriguing to see their confidence rule over information. Yes, maybe the 3 might get the 7 to fold under the pressure, or they may keep going and will lose. (FYI - 4 and 7 decided to call it a draw and split. Comradery prevailed).
Balance
However, there needs to be a balance with this. Over confidence without accurate information does not guarantee success. On the other hand, folding in and acquiescing early will definitely not bring success (you need to be in it to win it, as they say).
How do you find that sweet spot of balancing humility and esteem? I suppose that's part of our individual journeys to find what we deserve, how much to risk and how much to have faith in ourselves and the hands we were dealt. We can call it guided by luck or fate.
An experienced gambler once told me card games like Black Jack and Poker offer control. The roulette is a wheel of fortune and it is what is is. However, with card games, the luck of the draw is there. However, the player is able to decide when to split, double up, fold or request additional cards. That changes how they can play.
So, we could do the same with our own lives and paths we need. Look for pockets of control and see what we can do to steer a new direction.
The Epic Game of Cards
As I'm writing this, I was reminded of the gambling scene in the Hindu epic tale of Mahabharata. Yudhishtar, the eldest Pandava, is challenged to play a game of dice with the Kauravas. Unbeknownst to him, the game was fixed and he was destined to lose. Yet, he continued playing and bet his material assets, his property, his brothers, himself and ultimately his wife Draupadi. This lead to the great war between the families and an epic story.
While there are so many layers to this story, I wanted to call out the wicked combination of ego and love spiraling out of control. He bet more believing he would win back what he had lost, and went to lengths of risking high stakes. But what he had lost was what he loved - his family members and name.
As long as humans are playing, the game hasn't changed.
Final Words from Kenny Rogers, "The Gambler"
He said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right
You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done
Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep
'Cause every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for is to die
in your sleep
So, there was a social experiment in ego domination and submission. It was actually just a round of cards with poker chips and friends.
There was a spontaneous game where everyone was dealt 1 card and had to stick it to his or her forehead. Whoever had the highest card would win. The player cannot see the card, although everyone else can. So it's up to the player to bet according to what they believe they have.
It started simply enough, but there was such a risk. This is a blind investment. How long do you keep throwing chips into the pot believing you have the highest card out of everyone?
For myself, I did a few rounds and then got concerned. I don't have the facts and can't keep increasing my investment. At work, my decisions are made on data and clear a picture of the path. I folded, and it turned out I had an Ace. The friends were disappointed I missed an opportunity! Everyone else would've naturally folded at some point, possibly intimidated by my card. The next person to fold had a 10 and everyone felt bad for her giving up too quickly.
It continued until the three people competing had 3, 4, 7. Not very strong cards from the larger group, but strong enough between these three. The betting battle continued, but now it turned into a show of the ego.
Your ego is coming forward and saying you have the highest hand and believe it. If one person had an Ace, I could surely have one myself. But at what cost and how long do you allow it to lead you blindly? The player with the 3 and 4 were confidently upping the ante.
And, since we could see their cards, it was intriguing to see their confidence rule over information. Yes, maybe the 3 might get the 7 to fold under the pressure, or they may keep going and will lose. (FYI - 4 and 7 decided to call it a draw and split. Comradery prevailed).
Balance
However, there needs to be a balance with this. Over confidence without accurate information does not guarantee success. On the other hand, folding in and acquiescing early will definitely not bring success (you need to be in it to win it, as they say).
How do you find that sweet spot of balancing humility and esteem? I suppose that's part of our individual journeys to find what we deserve, how much to risk and how much to have faith in ourselves and the hands we were dealt. We can call it guided by luck or fate.
An experienced gambler once told me card games like Black Jack and Poker offer control. The roulette is a wheel of fortune and it is what is is. However, with card games, the luck of the draw is there. However, the player is able to decide when to split, double up, fold or request additional cards. That changes how they can play.
So, we could do the same with our own lives and paths we need. Look for pockets of control and see what we can do to steer a new direction.
The Epic Game of Cards
As I'm writing this, I was reminded of the gambling scene in the Hindu epic tale of Mahabharata. Yudhishtar, the eldest Pandava, is challenged to play a game of dice with the Kauravas. Unbeknownst to him, the game was fixed and he was destined to lose. Yet, he continued playing and bet his material assets, his property, his brothers, himself and ultimately his wife Draupadi. This lead to the great war between the families and an epic story.
While there are so many layers to this story, I wanted to call out the wicked combination of ego and love spiraling out of control. He bet more believing he would win back what he had lost, and went to lengths of risking high stakes. But what he had lost was what he loved - his family members and name.
As long as humans are playing, the game hasn't changed.
Final Words from Kenny Rogers, "The Gambler"
He said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right
You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done
Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep
'Cause every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for is to die
in your sleep
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